Heyy there. Its hard for me to tell what the hell's going on. It suppose to be a good news. Well, the time that I always pray emmmm will become true in a few weeks. I should scream and shout and let it all out but I don't even putting a smile on my face when I heard the news. I mean, I am not that much happy as I thought. Maybe, its not the right time or maybe.. I am not the one that ready for this. Seems like, people around me are being happy for that news. I AM HAPPY but it is just I AM NOT READY. Am I being selfish for this time? hmm. People's feelings and happiness are more important than myself I guess sometimes, so I have to accept the facts and...be happy for them. It hurts me. It is? Emmm perhaps? Family important Mon! I just.. Hmm I don't know how to explain here. My life will change! I mean, I would never be the same person as I used to be when I grown up. Wish my mom could know, I did this for her even though Im not that much like as she thought :( Be happy my love. I will always be there for you. I love you :')